The Penguin

Punch-Drunk Love  (2002) Directed and Written by Paul Thomas Anderson Starring Adam Sandler and Emily Watson Punch-Drunk Love is a surrealist rom-com. Then again, it's an underdog story. Then again, it's a bit of a drama/thriller...let's cut to the synopsis, shall we...? Adam Sandler stars as Barry Egan, a novelty-business owner with deep social issues, part of which stem from dealing with seven overbearing sisters who run his life an berate him constantly. He meets the lovely Lena (Watson), and appears to have the perfect scam going with Healthy Choice pudding, but runs afoul of a phone-sex extortion ring. Barry's hard road to love is fraught with exasperating humans and frightening circumstances, and he must find the courage to finally be himself and flail through the obstacles in his path in order to win Lena's heart. Paul Thomas Anderson takes all the elements of a fairly standard boy-meets-girl story and plays 52-card pickup with them. From ...

When do issues stop being as important as which side you're on? I've been asking myself this question a lot over the past five years. So often political and social arguments seem to fall along the exact same lines, over and over, regardless of the arguers or their  intelligence level - they parrot the party line, as though they are trained spokesmen. Otherwise well-educated, well-meaning people will jump to the defense of the reigning sociopath, simply because he claims to support "their" issue. Objectivity comes off as wishy-washy; reason is a cursable offense. Even truth becomes negotiable - so long as "our side" is upheld. This isn't some new, modern plunge into pre-revolutionary polarization. It's a side-effect of the human instinct toward tribalism. We're social animals, after all; social interaction is, for us, as primal an urge as reproduction and feeding. Loyalty to a group is not in itself good or bad, naturally; it's how the ins...

Apologies to Frank O'Hara; I'll have to read your poetry collection at some point...in the meantime it's a damn good title, especially for a post on the melancholy of living in "interesting times". It's Spring, or damn close, which means Mad Season is upon us - March Hares, floods, weather twitching between subzero and 60º F above...spring is a lovely time, yes, and being Orthodox Christian I have a soft spot for Easter; but there's a menacing side to the season people rarely talk about. The sap is rising, everybody's horny, rams take a sidelong look at each other and think, "I want to bury my horns in his skull" along with car doors, barn sides, and unsuspecting farmers. It's manic season. Check the statistics on incidence of psychotic break, and I'll bet you dollars to donuts they'll be significantly higher from March to May. It was actually May 20th, 2010 when I had the nervous breakdown that changed my life; now every year a...

With all the attention given to the Terrible Lizards throughout their history, it's often easy to forget they weren't the only beasts terrorizing the world during the Mesozoic. In fact, the majority of reptiles of that era weren't dinosaurs at all, though they fell under the Archosaur lineage: Pterosaurs ruled the skies, whilst a variety of marine reptiles and crocodilians ruled the waters. This domination of other habitats by non-dinosaurs helps answer a nagging question about our favorite toothy monsters: with the exception of the avian-line dinos, why were dinosaurs limited only to the land? It's essential to lay down ground rules at this point, otherwise everything will become confused. First, as many a second-grader can (and will) tell you, pterosaurs and ichthyosaurs, reptiles of air and water respectively, were not dinosaurs. In fact, dinosaurs are pretty much defined by a land-based lifestyle and body plan, including hollow bones and an erect posture. Only one...

Hiya, hiya, hiya...it's been a long time since I've done one of these! Once again it's the Blind Alley Comics Update, conveying our upcoming titles, events, goals and dreams for the next few months. No doubt you're starving for any juicy tidbit I can throw atchya, so here goes... 1. Comics! Yes folks, we have a big lineup for 2018; essentially we're trying to release 6 comics by the end of this year: The Human Cannonball #8 - Debuting 02/24 at MSU Comics Forum! Die Kätze III The Human Cannonball #9 Bone Boy #7 Bone Boy #8 Tales to Befuddle #2 As usual, things are still in flux; we're not sure if TTB2   is happening, or if we'll be trying something else - due to the difficulty of getting all the artists together when they're not busy or having life issues. That's basically 2018; I just hope art can triumph over adversity. Here's wishing all of our artists the best of luck! 2. Trade Paperback Kickstarter! We're planning a big push ...

Howdy, y'all. So my Ill-Advised Road Trip 2017-18 has come to its stirring conclusion with a real bang...that is, my Chevy Tracker hitting the I-40 Guardrail at 60 mph. Yeah yeah, I'm okay, not even a bruise from it. The Schlaacker is pretty much totaled. Too much structural damage along the passenger side. I knew it was leaking fluid and had a popped tire immediately after the crash, but I guess there was a lot of "internal bleeding", as it were - the stuff you don't see. The stuff that kills ya. The automobile version of a concussion. Thanks to Progressive Insurance for just saying, "Naw, don't fuck with it" and paying out instead of dicking around; they've been very helpful. I'm also in debt to my friends Emma and Jason for picking me up from Paw Paw, MI, which is just west of where my beloved little SUV met its untimely demise - they drove for an hour and a half to pick up my sorry ass. I did honestly try to find some way off that plane...

Howdy, y'all - I know it's been a while. Honestly things have been so in flux in my life lately, I couldn't focus on any one thing long enough to blog about it. Maybe eventually I'll blog an update on all the changes happening. I'll just say this: things are good. Not easy - in fact, it's been like climbing a mountain in a meteor shower - but exhilarating. I think I'm finally able to manage constant, unresolved challenges without breaking down and getting depressed; this is a huge milestone for me. It helps that I have such a great group of friends, especially my girlfriend Mandy, my buddy/editor/housemate Joe, friend Emma, and coworker Jason. One thing that stood out for me was a recent bout of illness - probably just a very bad cold, but it was about the worst I've been sick in several years; Mandy had it too, and Emma was just poleaxed by it...the infection starts in the lower sinuses, abates for a while, and then latches onto the upper airway and b...