The Penguin

So as you may know, I am partly obsessed with dinosaurs. Scratch that - there's a small lobe of my brain devoted to dinosaurs. I love em, God help me. I even have a super-double-plus-top-secret dinosaur comic maybe in the works...but you didn't hear it from me. Anywho... Part of my problem is in the reconstruction of said prehistoric beasties, namely those icons of American dino-obsession, Deinonychus ( Velociraptor  to you Jurassic Park  aficionados...it's not just a Hollywood bastardization, there's a complicated story behind it which I covered in this old post ). Now, we all know what Deinonychus looked like: wolf-size, sleek, toothsome head balanced by a long tail, grasping front claws and of course the eponymous "terrible claw" on its hind foot. The shape is burned into our collective unconscious; you could construct the most fantastic amalgam of different bits and pieces, but as long as you include the sickle-claw, you're golden. The devil, of...

Here's to another new year. No retrospective here, folks - Ricky the Schlaack is all about the future. Nobody likes those "Year in Review" things, despite what the news outlets seem to think. I've never tuned in. They're just space filler. Here's an idea: instead of filling up the space with junk like that, why doesn't the news just to off the air? "Well folks, there's nothing to report...we'll switch back on when news happens! Happy New Year!" Kkkkchhhhht.  Static snow. Or! Even better: one of those "slow entertainment shows" from Norway, like the eighteen-hour train ride? Soothing to the nerves. Neither demands nor seduces your attention, it just is.  You can tune in or tune out. I'm really looking forward to getting my own "slow entertainment" channel. Where was I...? Oh yes! The future. Well, things may be going to hell in a handbasket (as usual), but I'm actually feeling pretty chipper. Blind Alley C...