The Penguin

(Ever notice how news announcers seem to say "An 'Istoric Event" instead of "A Historic Event"? Guess it's a weird relic of British pronunciation not to pronounce your Haitches and treat the first letter like a vowel...) So the world is exploding (again), a pandemic is raging, politics are happening, Antarctica's sliding into the ocean...but I'm still allowed to celebrate one small victory. On this day, June 12th, 2020, at 9:00 am EST, I paid off my student loan! This albatross was hatched back in the murky days of 2006, in that weird period after 9/11 but before the Housing Crash of Aught Eight. The economy was going gangbusters, and I'd just graduated from High School, a fresh young proto-Rick who'd rolled a natural d20 in the Ambition department but a d1 in the Clue department. Because of my talent in art (and probably some backdoor-deal machinations between Howell High School and the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, which I o...

No, not that noxious weed. I'm talking about the near-ubiquitous iniquitous vine, the Strangler Most Foul, the chameleon-like climber that is the bane of summer camps across most of North America, Toxicodendron sp. - that is, Poison Ivy and its relatives. At left you see a my hand circa Friday, May 29th. I remember it was pretty mild the day before, as I just slapped a glove on it and went to work at the shop (they make us wear latex gloves anyway); I don't know if all the sweat and coolant from the machines had anything to do with the worsening condition or if I was doomed from the start. At any rate, those blisters would continue to balloon to alarming proportions until the largest one sat 1/2 inch above the normal skin level. The blisters began appearing on and between my fingers and even on the touch surface of my ring finger. The largest blister kept popping and refilling with whatever that yellow fluid is (I think the scientific term is "Ichor from beyond time a...